Dealing with Disappointment

I have had some time to think about why I am so upset about the mess in my backyard.  After all, the Queen is not coming to tea any time soon and there is really no pressing reason to have this work done by any given date although I do want to get some plants in the ground while the weather is good. I was so angry on Thursday and I have been trying to control my anger in recent years and have largely been successful until this week. 

There are three reasons for my over-reaction, I think.

The first is that I do get upset when people say they are going to do something and then don't do it. My mother-in-law used to tell Jennifer when she was just a little girl that she would do such and such with her and something would always come up and she didn't carry through on her promises. Although Jennifer was young she was aware that this wasn't right and I was sorry that she had to be so disappointed and hurt at such a young age. I finally had to tell my mother-in-law not to make promises unless she was going to keep them.

The landscaper also built our house and although he and his men do very good work, he never seems to do what he says he will do when he says he will do it. I knew this going in and it shouldn't have bothered me but it does. It is the same as lying to me and I can't abide people who consistently lie.

The second reason is that this is costing us thousands of dollars. This may not be a huge sum to the landscaper who just sold his house for 2 million dollars or so but it is a whole lot to me. We will no doubt get it back when we sell the house (if the work is ever finished, of course) but it is a lot of money. The money was left to me by my mother and I know that part of the anger was at myself. I feel guilty that somehow I am wasting the money that Mother worked so hard for and left to me.

The last reason is that in Canada our summers are so short and ours is quickly moving on. I wanted to be able to enjoy this new space this year. Instead I am looking at a bomb site and even though I asked him to be careful with the established plants, many of them will never survive his disregard for what's already there. I took this picture the first day any work was done and it looks just the same or maybe a little worse today - more than a week later.

The Bible tells us to be careful not to let a bitter root grow in our relationships. I know from sad experience how easily this can happen so I am trying to pray this through so that this man will see a godly example in my reactions to him. Living a Christian life was never supposed to be easy but does it have to be so difficult?

Canada Day

Today, July 1, is Canada Day. it used to be called "Dominion Day" The dominion of Canada stretched from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean to the Arctic Ocean. This was a Biblical reference which did not sit well with some of our rulers so we now have Canada Day. 

Our country is 142 years old. I know this is young when compared with other countries in the world but something to celebrate nonetheless.

Canada is a huge country and we are reminded of this every time we drove out to Calgary to see our children. We have driven right to the west coast in British Columbia but, for some reason, we have never been to the Atlantic Ocean yet. Perhaps next year. Just because of its diversity, it has to be one of the most beautiful countries in the world.

We have many strengths. We are not perfect but we try very hard to be accepting of people from all walks of life. We do have racism here but it is muted and truly anyone can become whatever they are suited for if they have determination and grit.

Our medicare is among the best in the world. Yes, we do have long wait times for some procedures but at least you do not have to go bankrupt when you become ill or old. 

We have our fair share of scoundrels but generally as a country, we are very compassionate and caring when tragedy hits. Many people I know have "adopted" youngsters overseas to try to give them a better life.

We have not treated our aboriginal people at all well and this is our country's biggest shame. There are those who are working very hard to correct this. Throwing money at a situation is not always the best answer but using funds to improve basic living conditions is just a start.

We have a great deal of freedom in this country as well. You can worship, vote, work and play as you wish as long as you follow the laws of the land - which are very liberal -  and respect other people.

There is no place on earth that I would rather live and that's the highest praise I can give.

Happy Birthday, my beloved country!

Holidays

We just returned from a trip to western Canada to visit our children and grandchildren. we were only there for a week and that wasn't nearly enough time to get to know the "grands" and I didn't really have any time to talk to my son. We live so far away and telephone conversations are never really satisfying. The bonus is that we were out last year and this trip was rather unexpected. My sister suggested that we go and this was a major surprise since we had never vacationed together before. The trip was not an unqualified success. My sister is ten years older than I am and she has trouble walking - mostly because, I suspect, she does so little of it. She also tends to be rather negative and each day had a litany of complaints about everything from the hotel to the plane trip to, well . . . you get the picture. The only things she didn't complain about were the kids and grandkids. The object of the trip was that she would have something to remember and I guess we succeeded there!

Before we left we made reservations to go to a resort for three days in July and I have been feeling a little guilty about spending more money on another holiday this year. I don't want to be frivolous with our money but today on my walk I gave myself a reality check.

This has been a rather sad year for me. It seems that every week or so, I hear about another death. Mother died on march 20, 2009 but even before that, there were several deaths - either at the church or friends or in the family of friends or friends of friends or neighbours. It has continued non stop. Since we were away there has been three deaths of people we know. I know that this is partially because of my age but at times a feeling of sadness just overwhelms me.

Then we decided to have the backyard landscaped. We are having the grass ripped out and walkways and gardens put in. the work was supposed to start on June 1 but it is almost July 1 and the work is nowhere near finished. Barely begun, in fact. If the "boss" could actually get some men here for a day or two, the work might be done by now but there has been one guy working a few hours a day and the work is taking forever, He has also destroyed far more of the established gardens than I thought he should and, at times, I am close to tears about the plants being decimated.

So - - - I think that another holiday is not only desired but needed. As I look back on the past 40 years of our marriage, I realized that there were many years when we took no holidays at all because we simply couldn't afford to. The last time we went to a resort was when the kids were very little. Now that we are able to go away, I am determined not to feel guilty about some rest and relaxation that is sorely needed. If we were to stay home, there would always be something to do and so it's better to actually leave!

Heroes

#1

Canadian football players were in a bus driving home from a game in Indiana when an SUV swerved into their lane and crashed into them and burst into flames. One of the players rushed to the SUV and managed to rescue a brother and sister from the vehicle although their mother could not be saved. The team may have lost their game 32-0 but in the "game of life" they are heroes.

#2

I don't know Jerry very well. He is an older gentleman who lives at the top of our street. He moved in a year or two ago. My husband and I see him out on his walk every few days. He usually has a cane but walks very briskly as if heading on a great adventure. He is very cheerful and upbeat when we chat.

Yesterday when I met him, he was using a walker but he was still walking quickly and was quite cheerful about our summer weather.

I don't know what physical challenges he is facing but our world would be a much better place if we all could face each day as if we were going on an exciting adventure that we were looking forward to!

Food for thought. . .

Even though I have only flown four times, I really love being up in an airplane. In this photo you can see the quadrants of Ontario properties.  We had a great flight both to and from Alberta and I would recommend WestJet to everyone. They make flying so easy for even novices like we are.

My sister went with us and it was a bit of a challenge traveling with her from time to time. She is ten years older than I am - coming up to her 75th birthday - and has lived on her own for about 50 years and is very used to doing things her own way. She complained about just about everything except our children and grandchildren! She wasn't horrible and I was glad we had been able to give her this trip of a life time but I don't think we'll be traveling together again any time soon. Jim was wonderful and I couldn't have managed without him. Doreen is having major problems walking. Something is definitely wrong with her legs and I am hoping that she is able to get an MRI in July as scheduled despite the isotope scarcity.

The weather really cooperated. We only had rain in the evenings and over night and we really didn't care about that. It wasn't too hot either which was a bonus for me.

The mountains are as lovely as ever and haven't moved! A week really wasn't long enough but since we weren't expecting to visit this year at all. I am grateful for the time we did have.

My grandchildren are wonderful. Of course, every grandparent says that but, in this case , it is true! ;-)  Aidan (5) is bright and very sharp which will probably get him into trouble in school but he'll learn. At his swimming lesson, he always wanted to be the first one to do what the instructor asked but he didn't make a fuss when she chose someone else to go first.

Emma (2) is at the "parrot stage" and one has to be careful what one says around her. She walked miles at Heritage Park and never complained or whined. It takes her a while to warm up to people but then she is quite comfortable.

I guess that's enough of a report for today.

Walking the walk

I walk every day, including Sundays and holidays :-). My 30 - 40 minute walk basically follows the same route every day. The only difference is when the kids are on their way to school. I try to change my route on these days so that I avoid being run over by bicycles, skateboards and scooters. Even this change is fairly minor and it might seem that this would be boring walking the same way every day.

I find my walks anything but boring. There is always something different going on even in a small town.  Each day I meet different people. I notice that there are a lot less people who walk in the winter. (And I thought Canadians were tough. Hah!) Most of the people I meet in the inclement weather have dogs. Obviously you have to walk the family pooch regardless of the weather. I have become very friendly with many dog owners and know their dogs' names even if I don't know the owner's name.

I also find it interesting noticing houses that go up for sale. In the past year, there have been several houses that have not been sold due to the poor economy. Still others have been for sale for many months. Only one or two have been sold although this is a good neighbourhood.

The other thing I enjoy on my walks is the landscaping of houses I pass. Aside from the mess that dandelions leave after their cheerful yellow flowers disappear, there are a lot of beautiful trees, plants and shrubs in town. The flowering trees - apple, crab and cherry - were particularly lovely. This spring has been cooler and wetter than many we have had lately and the colours of plants have been wonderful. We just finished with lilacs and now the bridal wreath shrubs are in full bloom. Some homes use these as hedges and the white blooms cascade all along the property line.

Many of my neighbours expect me to pass them on my walk and it's interesting when I miss a day or two to be asked if I was sick! Only in a small town would strangers care about your well-being.

I love living within walking distance of a grocery store, bank, garden centre and dollar store. I enjoy being able to make small purchases without getting in the car and using gas which is getting more and more expensive these days.

Walking is supposed to be good for your health. I sure hope so. I am at the very least getting some vitamin D!

This is a little flower called "Snow Cap". It seemed to appear for the first time last spring. I must have planted it the year before but couldn't remember and had no idea of its name. When it came up again this spring, I really wanted to get more but the plant selection down here is less than ideal and , of course, I still didn't know what it was called.

Low and behold, I walked into one of our garden centres last week and they had several containers with young plants there. I bought four to put in some small beds on the south side of the house. Now, if only they all survive the landscaping upheaval!

I haven't blogged here for a while mostly because I get so little feedback. I am ashamed to say that I need far more positive reinforcement than I should at my age. I do communicate with many of you on Face Book and really enjoy that site. If only they would stop making changes!

Mother's Day was very painful. I woke up on Sunday seething with resentment. Not only have I lost my mother and mother-in-law recently but I had no children or grandchildren within hugging distance. Church was difficult since the sermon was all about how wonderful mothers are. I certainly didn't feel wonderful in any sense and I just wished the minister would stop talking. Not the greatest attitude for the Sunday morning service. I called my sister and she was having a rough day as well. She couldn't make herself go to church because she knew the buzz would all be about the "day". She was perhaps wiser to stay home.

Yesterday and today have been much better. After all, I have 360 plus days before this comes around again. I have hated Mother's Day for years. I feel it is a phony celebration and full of hypocrisy  but have never been as down as this year. Perhaps next year will be better.

I have been asked to speak at our church's annual women's banquet in June. I am pretty excited about this. I love public speaking and haven't really done any since we've moved down here. I have named my talk "A Tale Worth Telling". I want to talk about the importance of leaving a written record or journal for our grandchildren and great grandchildren. I am reading a  book right now where the main character is reading a journal written by her great-great-great aunt and it is fascinating. I do wish some of my "greats" had left a written legacy. So many stories have been lost. I think this is especially important for Christians to do. We should be recording the evidences of God's grace and provision in our lives.

I guess that's enough for today. The fingers on my right hand are sore again. This condition - whatever it is - has been going on since December. I thought it was going to clear up when it wasn't as bad for a month or so but it seems just as bad right now as it ever was. It does make typing rather awkward.

Spring is my favourite time of the year - cool temperatures, sun, green lush foliage and not many bugs. Hope you are enjoying your spring whatever the weather!