Tuesday, May 12, 2009

This is a little flower called "Snow Cap". It seemed to appear for the first time last spring. I must have planted it the year before but couldn't remember and had no idea of its name. When it came up again this spring, I really wanted to get more but the plant selection down here is less than ideal and , of course, I still didn't know what it was called.

Low and behold, I walked into one of our garden centres last week and they had several containers with young plants there. I bought four to put in some small beds on the south side of the house. Now, if only they all survive the landscaping upheaval!

I haven't blogged here for a while mostly because I get so little feedback. I am ashamed to say that I need far more positive reinforcement than I should at my age. I do communicate with many of you on Face Book and really enjoy that site. If only they would stop making changes!

Mother's Day was very painful. I woke up on Sunday seething with resentment. Not only have I lost my mother and mother-in-law recently but I had no children or grandchildren within hugging distance. Church was difficult since the sermon was all about how wonderful mothers are. I certainly didn't feel wonderful in any sense and I just wished the minister would stop talking. Not the greatest attitude for the Sunday morning service. I called my sister and she was having a rough day as well. She couldn't make herself go to church because she knew the buzz would all be about the "day". She was perhaps wiser to stay home.

Yesterday and today have been much better. After all, I have 360 plus days before this comes around again. I have hated Mother's Day for years. I feel it is a phony celebration and full of hypocrisy  but have never been as down as this year. Perhaps next year will be better.

I have been asked to speak at our church's annual women's banquet in June. I am pretty excited about this. I love public speaking and haven't really done any since we've moved down here. I have named my talk "A Tale Worth Telling". I want to talk about the importance of leaving a written record or journal for our grandchildren and great grandchildren. I am reading a  book right now where the main character is reading a journal written by her great-great-great aunt and it is fascinating. I do wish some of my "greats" had left a written legacy. So many stories have been lost. I think this is especially important for Christians to do. We should be recording the evidences of God's grace and provision in our lives.

I guess that's enough for today. The fingers on my right hand are sore again. This condition - whatever it is - has been going on since December. I thought it was going to clear up when it wasn't as bad for a month or so but it seems just as bad right now as it ever was. It does make typing rather awkward.

Spring is my favourite time of the year - cool temperatures, sun, green lush foliage and not many bugs. Hope you are enjoying your spring whatever the weather!


7 comments:

  1. Your feelings are real and still raw from your losses, so I can understand completely about your resentful, angry feelings this past Mother's Day(I was angry with the world for a year at least, after my second daughter died). I was at a memorial service this weekend for my grandmother and it was hard to know what to express to my father and aunt, considering it was their mother they lost and it was Mother's Day weekend.
    And it IS a manufactured holiday. We were too busy to think much about "Mother's Day" this year, anyway. My "real" Mother's Day occurs every so often when my daughter does something kind and unexpected out of the blue and I feel so blessed that she is my daughter, or when I am having a great tme being with my own mother(who I should treasure more since she s 70 years old now)
    Anyway....good to see a blog here, after a drought!

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  2. I am glad you are doing better. The presents we sent you are to cheer you up, so I hope they arrive soon!

    I am glad you are getting to use your gift of speaking. I always remember your speech at our wedding and think of it often. (Especially the part about being my right to seek justice, but showing mercy to Jonathan instead!) That has stuck with me and comes up often as a reminder.

    I hope your fingers heal. I will continue to pray for them.

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  3. I was smiling when reading that you need positive reinforcement too. I always thought this would get less with getting older lol. I do have the same problem though...I really need it as well although I always tell myself that it shouldn't bother me as do like the writing in itself ;-). Ah well, I guess we are all human!!
    For what it's worth, I *do* really enjoy your blog entries here and always try to keep up reading all the updates of my friends. Life sometimes is a bit too overwhelming but I always try to come back at days when I have more time.

    I can imagine Mothers Day was a painful one for you... one of those days which are so difficult, especially in the first year of mourning! So many emotions overwhelming you!
    I don't like Mothers Day either. I think it's too commercial and not a good day to show that you care about eachother. I don't like Fathers Day, Valentines Day and all sorts of it. I think there are plenty more days and ways to show it! Another reason I don't like like it is because days like that are emotionally charged for people who don't have a mother or do have complex relationships, don't have kids etc. I think we (as in society) shouldn't put eachother in situations like that...

    Wow, what a great theme for your talk!! I agree, I would have loved to read a journal written by say...my grandma. Would have loved to know more about her feelings and thoughts!! Please tell more about it :-)

    Your finger problem sounds heavy. Did you have it examined?
    Hope it won't turn out to be a permanent thing or get worse in the years :-(.

    I love Spring! It's so good to spend more time outdoors :-).

    Once again, I really enjoyed reading your blog today!

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  4. Positive reinforcement is definitely needed! I don't blog alot now either, as I don't seem to get alot of feedback. Mother's Day should have still been special for you--you are still a wonderful mother! xx

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  5. How is the garden growing now???
    I find at this time of year, everything looks perfect(the weeds haven't taken over and everything fresh). You should do a garden update(June Edition) soon here...(just some gentle prodding..)

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  6. Oh I love your Snow Caps. I love to garden myself. I hated Mothers Day after our daughter was stillborn in 2002 after a long time trying for her. Our beautiful daughter was born 4 years later and the 4 mothers days in between were painful and I was met with little understanding about that. I am sorry about the loss of your mother and mother in law. One loss is bad enough but two is extremely painful. I hope to get to know you and hope that you post again soon.

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  7. Thanks to all of you for your comments on this blog. I will definitely do a garden update in the next day or two.

    Right now I am concentrating on my message for tonight. It is exactly the length it needs to be so I don't want to tinker with it too much.

    The birds outside my window are telling me it's time for my walk!

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