Friends

I have been thinking a great deal about friendship the past few days. Many of you know Giz. I was sorry to read a post on her Face Book page where she talked about being "dumped" by someone she had known for eight years. While this is painful at any age, it seems to hurt more as you get older.

There have been two incidences in my own life this year where I, too, have been "dumped". One is by a member of my own family. With no explanation or warning or reason that I know of, one of our family members has just cut off contact with us. And not only with us. She does not seem to be in touch with anyone in our family. This is a distressing mystery.

The other instance involves friends who we have known for more than 20 years. They had their first grandchild this February and they emailed us when the baby was born. I sent their children a baby gift but I have not heard a word from them since. I expected to hear from them when my mother died but nothing even though we have tried to be supportive and encouraging to them over the years when they have had family tragedies. I sent them a card for their anniversary as is our custom but there has been no response at all. 

I admit that I do not understand this kind of behaviour at all. Some people say that some friendships are only for a season and we should be ready to let go when interest lags. When there is mutual disinterest, I agree that you just move on with your life. I do think, however, that it is only common courtesy to bring some kind of closure to a relationship that last lasted for years. It would be nice, in my case, to get some kind of explanation to the sudden silence because I am tending to treat both these situations as a rejection of me and that may or may not be true.

 The picture with this blog was taken on Saturday. For my birthday, I asked these two couples to meet us for a celebration lunch. We have all known each other for 20 plus years and try to have brunch or lunch every couple of months or so. We had a great time although this year has not been an easy one. Both our male friends have had health problems this past year and all three of the women have lost a parent recently. 

The kind of friendship we share has been a support through some tough times although we do have to work at staying in touch since we live a fair distance away from each other.

Food for thought . . . 

Dealing with Disappointment

I have had some time to think about why I am so upset about the mess in my backyard.  After all, the Queen is not coming to tea any time soon and there is really no pressing reason to have this work done by any given date although I do want to get some plants in the ground while the weather is good. I was so angry on Thursday and I have been trying to control my anger in recent years and have largely been successful until this week. 

There are three reasons for my over-reaction, I think.

The first is that I do get upset when people say they are going to do something and then don't do it. My mother-in-law used to tell Jennifer when she was just a little girl that she would do such and such with her and something would always come up and she didn't carry through on her promises. Although Jennifer was young she was aware that this wasn't right and I was sorry that she had to be so disappointed and hurt at such a young age. I finally had to tell my mother-in-law not to make promises unless she was going to keep them.

The landscaper also built our house and although he and his men do very good work, he never seems to do what he says he will do when he says he will do it. I knew this going in and it shouldn't have bothered me but it does. It is the same as lying to me and I can't abide people who consistently lie.

The second reason is that this is costing us thousands of dollars. This may not be a huge sum to the landscaper who just sold his house for 2 million dollars or so but it is a whole lot to me. We will no doubt get it back when we sell the house (if the work is ever finished, of course) but it is a lot of money. The money was left to me by my mother and I know that part of the anger was at myself. I feel guilty that somehow I am wasting the money that Mother worked so hard for and left to me.

The last reason is that in Canada our summers are so short and ours is quickly moving on. I wanted to be able to enjoy this new space this year. Instead I am looking at a bomb site and even though I asked him to be careful with the established plants, many of them will never survive his disregard for what's already there. I took this picture the first day any work was done and it looks just the same or maybe a little worse today - more than a week later.

The Bible tells us to be careful not to let a bitter root grow in our relationships. I know from sad experience how easily this can happen so I am trying to pray this through so that this man will see a godly example in my reactions to him. Living a Christian life was never supposed to be easy but does it have to be so difficult?

Canada Day

Today, July 1, is Canada Day. it used to be called "Dominion Day" The dominion of Canada stretched from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean to the Arctic Ocean. This was a Biblical reference which did not sit well with some of our rulers so we now have Canada Day. 

Our country is 142 years old. I know this is young when compared with other countries in the world but something to celebrate nonetheless.

Canada is a huge country and we are reminded of this every time we drove out to Calgary to see our children. We have driven right to the west coast in British Columbia but, for some reason, we have never been to the Atlantic Ocean yet. Perhaps next year. Just because of its diversity, it has to be one of the most beautiful countries in the world.

We have many strengths. We are not perfect but we try very hard to be accepting of people from all walks of life. We do have racism here but it is muted and truly anyone can become whatever they are suited for if they have determination and grit.

Our medicare is among the best in the world. Yes, we do have long wait times for some procedures but at least you do not have to go bankrupt when you become ill or old. 

We have our fair share of scoundrels but generally as a country, we are very compassionate and caring when tragedy hits. Many people I know have "adopted" youngsters overseas to try to give them a better life.

We have not treated our aboriginal people at all well and this is our country's biggest shame. There are those who are working very hard to correct this. Throwing money at a situation is not always the best answer but using funds to improve basic living conditions is just a start.

We have a great deal of freedom in this country as well. You can worship, vote, work and play as you wish as long as you follow the laws of the land - which are very liberal -  and respect other people.

There is no place on earth that I would rather live and that's the highest praise I can give.

Happy Birthday, my beloved country!